I Will Never Disobey You Again

ssammoh Just another kid

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My parents got separated and my mom basically went crazy. she tried all sorts of things to get him back.
recently my mom has been telling me to do certain things, and saying i need to follow these rules to be healthy. after i started following her rules, i got sick. i am also starting to suspect that she has been tricking me into giving myself a serious allergic reaction. I am pretty sure i am allergic to dairy and almost DIED last time I ate it, but she sometimes offers me food with dairy in it.

i told my mom that my chest hurts. she told me to call my dad to come here and take care of us. i am very upset about this situation, and I think my mom made me sick on purpose to get my dad to come back home.

I told my dad that I think my mom made me sick on purpose. I told him this even though my mom SPECIFICALLY told me not to complain about her. So I knowingly disobeyed my mother for my own safety. I feel SUPER guilty and selfish.

the reason I told him is because I dont feel safe with my mom and I honestly think I am in danger. But is it a sin? should I apologize to my mom and stop complaining about her?
No see, obeying your parents only applies to a limited extent when your parent is looking out for what is best for you.
It means really "respect" in that sense. And respect for a parent who is trying to harm you, is to tell other people. That is respect and obedience to the nature of respect.

We respect others by dealing honestly with them. If a parent harms their child, then that hurts the parent, it brings evil into their life and will harm them. So respect by the child, the child would try to not allow that into their life to help themselves and help their parent.

In heaven, when everything is revealed and truth is brought out, it is better a child do what is right, and in doing what is right respect their parents. But their parents are not God. God first, then you parents after God. So if you live to please God, you will respect your parents as a byproduct of that. Just because we respect our parents does not mean we always listen to them or obey them.

And it's rough to figure out as a kid. Most don't figure it out until we are adults. But you didn't betray your mother according to God's way of looking at things.
Do you have access to a counselor or therapist? Someone who is not inside of your situation that can really look at these things objectively and see if there are patterns of behavior here? If you live with your mother, you need to be able to trust her. Something does not seem right.
What do you think you can do to try to come up with an answer here?
Albion Facilitator

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I don't think you're under any moral obligation to eat it, if you have reason to think it could trigger a reaction like that. Say it makes you sick and, like millions of kids have done with their broccoli, push it aside. You don't have to elaborate.
paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

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Yes, but you didn't disobey just to disobey. You had a greater good in mind.
The Fifth Commandment is not absolute. It is in the context of the others. And we are not under the letter of the law anyway, we are under the freedom of the spirit. If your parents tell you to do something that sincerely violates your conscience, you are not obligated to comply.
JAM2b Newbie

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Based on what you have shared in different threads, I think you need to move out of your mother's home. You need a safe place where you can have some stability and reasonable guidance. Is there any other relative or close friend you could go be with?
You absolutely do not have to continue to live in a dysfunctional situation. It is not disobedience to get yourself in a safe and healthy situation. You are a grown adult. Seek help outside of your mother and father.
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ssammoh Just another kid

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I do have friends and relatives I can move in with.
Please show me a bible verse where it says it's okay to disobey your mom if she makes you feel unsafe. I dont remember any such thing when I was reading the bible, but then again, I didnt read the whole bible.
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There is no verse that says that exactly. You have to understand that the Bible has to be viewed in context and based on the over all message, rather than verse by verse. It was never meant to be that way.
If you want to strictly follow Bible, by Biblical standards you have already been an adult for several years, and should have been married off to a man, and no longer under your parents authority, but have children of your own and have authority over them. Your hypothetical children should be obeying you.

You can't just look at verses and think that your life in our culture has to strictly and mindless line up with that. It just doesn't work that way. God does not intend for that.

God also does not intend for people to remain in abusive situations. Follow Jesus's example. When he was in a dangerous situation, he left. He didn't not hang around for people to mistreat him. He always stood up for Himself. The only time anywhere in Scripture it says that He did allow anyone to harm Him, was at the very end of his life. He willingly chose to go through the arrest, torture and death to sacrifice himself for a very specific God-ordained purpose. AND He even asked if He could get out of it before He did. Jesus did not want to suffer. He does not expect you to either.

Last edited: May 15, 2016
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Swan7 Made in the image of His Grace Supporter

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First, I want to say that I am sorry you are going through a hard time right now. I can honestly relate to your situation, though not through my mother, but through my dad. He would always tell me what was going on during the separation and divorce from my mother and how she was behaving. It was hurting me emotionally.
Reading in context in obeying your parents, I did find this Ephesians 6:1-4

With fathers the same goes with mothers, that they should raise you up pleasing to the Lord. So, should they disobey Him in your eyes, then disobeying them when they are trying to harm you is ok.
For Jesus did say, Matthew 10:34-36 I hope this helps you and certainly am praying for you. My PMs are always open if you have more questions. I will try my best to answer as God instructs.

Last edited: May 15, 2016
ssammoh Just another kid

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When did Jesus leave a dangerous situation? Also did he disobey one of his parents? I dont think Jesus would disobey a parent.
ssammoh Just another kid

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1. "The command to not murder applies to yourself as well". Are you saying that staying in a dangerous situation is functionally the same as committing suicide?
2. I dont have proof my mom is trying to make me sick. It's possible she just doesnt know how people are supposed to stay healthy.
3. Every time I confront her for giving me food with dairy in it, she says it wasnt on purpose. How do I know if she is lying or not?
Also, saying that I have the right to disobey my mother just because she is hurting me seems like the easy way out. It seems like something someone would say if they want an excuse to be rebellious.

Here are some things my mom told me to do.
1. go to sleep at 12am and wake up at 8am.
2. dont excersize for a whole hour because that is too much.

she isnt telling me to kill myself. why should I be okay with disobeying her?
dhh712 Mrs. Calvinist Dark Lord

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1. "The command to not murder applies to yourself as well". Are you saying that staying in a dangerous situation is functionally the same as committing suicide?
The command to not murder does not just mean to not kill anyone. It means not to do anything to take away from their well-being (such as get angry with them). From what I remember from your other post, you said your mother may be intentionally trying to make you sick. It would definitely not be wrong to disobey her if what she tells you to do is leading to this conclusion.
2. I dont have proof my mom is trying to make me sick. It's possible she just doesnt know how people are supposed to stay healthy.
Well, you may try to suggest to her ways in which she can help you stay healthy then.

3. Every time I confront her for giving me food with dairy in it, she says it wasnt on purpose. How do I know if she is lying or not?
You don't know. It would be allowing for Christian charity to give her the benefit of the doubt. I think you mentioned that dairy nearly kills you, so it looks as though you may need to take on the responsibility yourself to make sure that it is not contained in anything you may eat.

Also, saying that I have the right to disobey my mother just because she is hurting me seems like the easy way out. It seems like something someone would say if they want an excuse to be rebellious.
--You need to obey God above all others. If your mother gives you a commandment that contradicts the ones that God gave, such as putting you in harm's way, then it needs to be disobeyed. If that's an easy way out, okay. I'm not trifling over descriptors.

Here are some things my mom told me to do.
1. go to sleep at 12am and wake up at 8am.
2. dont excersize for a whole hour because that is too much.
she isnt telling me to kill myself. why should I be okay with disobeying her?
--Those things sound fine to me at least. Sounds like you'll have to obey her on those that you listed, in order to keep God's commandment of honoring your parents.
Not a Christian, so please excuse my intrusion. Please google "Munchausen By Proxy", then take the information gained, along with a list of things your mother has done, and go to a medical doctor as soon as possible. Doctors are obliged by law to report suspected cases of abuse, even when older teens are involved. And Munchausen's is most definitely a notifiable disease - as it invariably involves harming others.
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ssammoh Just another kid

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Mudinyeri Well-Known Member

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Chiefly, your mother (and possibly your father) is/are abusing you. Secondarily, you're an adult, you have a job, you need a catalyst to help you in your maturation.
The baby bird would never learn to fly if it didn't leave the nest.
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